she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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