Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
