How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
