i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
