I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
