So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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