You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
