He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
