Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
