..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I need to calm my uterus...
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize