We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize