Whod you bang
My first STD was from a foam party
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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