sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
