Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
