if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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