3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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