My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
