i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
handjob tips. give me some.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
