She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
