He kissed a someone with a penis
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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