I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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