Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize