the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
