i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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