I just saw a hot homeless man
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
