And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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