Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
