I just saw a hot homeless man
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I am midnight drunk by noon
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
