we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize