ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
