At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
two words: eviction party
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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