I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize