I wish I only lived at night.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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