i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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