dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
