what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I love you. Go after that dick
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize