Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
