you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I have fence marks all over my body
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
