S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
