the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Of course I have a pirate flag
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
