I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
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