No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
there is glitter all over my balls
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