Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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