she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
