there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
