How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
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