He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
