note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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