i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
So. Much. Porn.
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