I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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