Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
