I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
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COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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