I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
