K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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