Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
