so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
