If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
