So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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