his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
