You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
