How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
