remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize