we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
