Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
