The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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