The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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