guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
