There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
