So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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