I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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