there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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