1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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