i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
