Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
