Sry I called you an 8
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
So much rum. So many feels.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
