somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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