Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
